


Paradise

by Anis_BouvetLadubay



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: "I'm not worthy of Your mercy", Cursed, Desperate, Gen, Get thee to a monastery, Mental Torture, Multi, Renouncing all worldly temptations - even his duty, Treason, Whump Aramis, his promise to God, love/devotion, praying, pwp - poetry without plot, romantic religious hero type, s2e10-Trial and Punishment, torn between 'paradise' and hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anis_BouvetLadubay/pseuds/Anis_BouvetLadubay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I miss Paris. The excitement, the noise, the danger..." Aramis' feelings after he sealed his deal with God, gave up his commission and moved to a monastery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradise

Lower your eyes,  
Apologise.  
…Hallowed be thy name  
Thy kingdom come…  
Remember,  
What you’ve done. 

Leave behind  
Battle vapour  
Lust and drink and riot.  
Stay - and find -  
Parchment paper,  
Dust and ink and quiet. 

Tis surely peaceful  
In the 'Garden of Eden‘ -  
Yet I’m still walking  
On the broken  
Road of treason:  
A deep-notched trudge  
Of sopping shame,  
Cursèd be my name.  
I’m a parasite  
In this 'paradise‘. 

Fold your hands,  
And kneel —  
Apologise  
For that  
Twisted trace  
Of your disgrace,  
Leaving scars  
On your face.  
What are you willing to  
Sacrifice  
For that 'paradise‘? 

I left them.  
Can't avenge  
What I’ve done  
Can’t run,  
But I left them  
One for one:  
I left her,  
Left him,  
Left them.  
How can  
My devotion,  
Instinctive emotion,  
Of love  
Be a sin?  
I won peace  
But lost  
All for one. 

What is left  
Of me,  
What I don’t want  
You to see  
Is a heap of mud,  
Carefully pleaded,  
But carelessly kneaded  
Into a mangled,  
Shapeless form,  
Asking for God’s  
Forgiveness;  
Obnoxious oblivion,  
Fighting the flood  
Of clotting clay  
That is oozing  
Mistrust and decay. 

Trying to be  
A norm,  
Some form  
Of impartial prayer,  
Silence, solitude?  
Merely finding  
Worn down platitudes,  
Nothing but  
Lines of dried dirt  
On my hands:  
Redeem myself -  
Recite that sermon... 

Our father in heaven  
…Forgive us our debts  
…Thy kingdom come  
Thy will be done.  
But still -  
I might as well  
Escape these walls,  
See them again.  
Hear the noise,  
Walk in  
The shifty shades  
Of Paris - once again.  
I might as well  
Flee this place  
And try to yell  
At God  
In hell.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully Aramis does not seriously consider becoming a priest in season 3: I'd miss my favourite marksman too much within the ranks of the Musketeers ;) D'Artagnan, Athos and Porthos would miss him terribly, as well - for sure.  
> And what about the Queen? She needs him to be near too, somehow. They do have a conflicted love story (and a child together), after all.


End file.
